We were browsing the internet on this public holiday when we learnt you have released a pair of totally see-through plastic jeans.
It’s hard to know what’s more shocking – the fact you call these plastic leg coverings shaped like pants “jeans”, or that they cost around $100.
After all, no one would call a poncho a piece of clothing and get away with it. They sell them at petrol station for heaven’s sake.
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But since you’re determined to call these plastic leg coverings jeans, in the same way Moschino calls a roll of toilet paper a bag or Balenciaga can release a $2900 bag that looks like an IKEA shopper, we will play along. But we don’t have to like it.
On your website, you’ve pictured the model wearing the “jeans” over a pair of hotpants, probably because you think people will want to wear them to a party.
Actually, you say so yourself in the description.
“Ideal as a statement piece for a festival or costume party, take the look to the extreme with a bikini and sequin jacket or dress down, layered under an oversized jumper or asymmetric hem dress.”
They’ll make a statement all right. They say, “I didn’t want to splash out on a home infrared sauna, so I bought these pants instead.”
At least it removes the awkwardness of having your fly undone, given it’s kind of redundant anyway.
You also say the jeans have “classic pockets” and are “cropped at the ankle bone”.
Where they are cropped seems to be completely irrelevant given they show off not only every bone but every vain and hair on the leg they are covering (sort of).
But the biggest disappointment of all is that in this age of sustainable fashion and greater awareness of where and how clothes are made that you would make a pair of plastic pants at all.
When you released your mum jeans with the knee window panels, the internet sniggered but we let you off on a technicality as at least 80 per cent of the pants were made from denim (although your website lists them as 100 per cent cotton, which we know is not true).
Maybe the kneecap is the new midriff. After all, sometimes even we can get it wrong. Kim Kardashian proved that plastic can be fantastic with her clear PVC boots.
Sorry, TS, we love your quirky, affordable takes on runway trends but you’ve jumped the (plastic) shark this time.
There may be a place for plastic pants in this world but it’s at a hardware store, not a clothing chain.
Best of luck,